Dear Friend,
Do you know a National Book Award-winning book when you read one?
I have to say, Blackouts drew me in immediately and, despite being experimental, it held my attention from start to finish. It was hard for me to stick to my pace because I kept wanting to read ahead. That’s the sign of a good book, but I think what makes this one an award winner is just how important it is.
Torres touches on every significant aspect of LGBTQ+ history in this work, including the closet and coming out, the conflation of gender and sexuality, the need for community, the progression and regression in the treatment of LGBTQ+ people by science and medicine, psychology and sociology. It’s a book that takes a long view of the history of a people and encapsulates it all in one relationship, one conversation.
Ultimately, this history culminates with a meditation on that very topic. History. Memory. As Juan says, “bidden or bidden, yesterday is here . . . the past is always surfacing, always lurking, just there, in your peripheral vision” (283). Now, Juan and the narrator might be thinking about their own pasts and how difficult it is to escape it, or how much it shapes us even when we’re not thinking about it. But the concept is so much bigger than that.
Ocean Vuong once wrote, “what have we become to each other, if not what we’ve done to each other?” In other words, nothing that is present exists without the actions of our past, and this is as true for individuals as it is to societies, to humanity. There’s a cliche that those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it, but Blackouts is a reminder that some cliches are true. Important stories and contributions are often erased by the powerful, to serve a powerful narrative, and a life well-spent may be one that is spent in search of seeing.
“Tell me when you can see,” Juan says to the narrator. See past the blackouts and elisions. See through the jingoism and the propaganda. See history and how the present is shaped by it. See the person sitting next to you as yourself, another human being in danger of being misunderstood or erased.
What would you do with that power? That’s a question this novel asks without being rhetorical. To see is within our power. It’s a choice we make, to be present and to be true.
Coming Up Next Month
On May 1st, we will begin reading our next selection, Crazy Brave by Joy Harjo. I’ll be back that day with some introductory information and my own plan for reading, should anyone want to join. Until then, remember to find our conversations on social media with #theCRPBlog!
Meditation
“The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (NKJV 1 Samuel 18:1)
May you see and be seen,
~Adam
Contemplative Reading Project 
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